Nick Mabey
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The Mindful Life
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The Mindful Life is a social…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Nick Mabey Dec 19, 2014.

 

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Nick Mabey posted a blog post

Establishment Foundations

I’ve been facing my fear for about a year now.  Prior to that I had 50 years on the planet not even knowing I head this fear.  How can that be possible?Well my supervisor said I had ‘complex defensive structures’.   When she said it I was rather pleased because it sounded cool.  But then after going through some seriously painful learning it turns out it is not so cool after all.In…See More
Feb 14
Nick Mabey posted a blog post

Disconnection - The Near Enemy Of Non-Attachment?

Grasping, trying, desperate for signs of approval.  Showing off, dominating, making people laugh, anything to feel their validation.  Suffocating at the prospect of rejection, try harder, tell them a story, make them feel better.  Anything to make them love me.This is often a voice in my head – the voice of my attachment.  In its grip I am capable of magical…See More
Jan 16
Julie Drybrough commented on Nick Mabey's blog post About a Heart from the Heart
"Oh Nick I just love this - wholeheartedly. I love your questions and provocation..  I can only be fully wholehearted when I feel safe and trustful - a bloody minefield for me.. much of my growth/ development stuff is linked to a lack of trust…"
Sep 13, 2016
Nick Mabey posted a blog post

About a Heart from the Heart

This happens too often:I feel tentative, my stomach clenching as I contemplate it.  My mind is going ten to the dozen with a toxic mixture of ideas of how to get out of it and images of the many ways it can go wrong and I can look bad.  Dread washes over me and, instinctively, without even knowing it, I turn my attention away.  To football, internet surfing, games, anything that can…See More
Sep 12, 2016
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Mar 13, 2016
Nick Mabey posted a blog post

Puppets

She already had tears in her eyes as she rose to explain to us what was going to happen next.  The day before we had walked out an hour early as a show of solidarity to fellow workers who had been suspended.  So now we had to sign a form ensuring we would not do that again.  It was Anne’s job to explain this and get us to sign.  We already knew we would not sign and so did she.  We already knew the…See More
Mar 8, 2016
Nick Mabey posted a blog post

Puppets

She already had tears in her eyes as she rose to explain to us what was going to happen next.  The day before we had walked out an hour early as a show of solidarity to fellow workers who had been suspended.  So now we had to sign a form ensuring we would not do that again.  It was Anne’s job to explain this and get us to sign.  We already knew we would not sign and so did she.  We already knew the…See More
Feb 8, 2016
Tobey Fitch commented on Nick Mabey's blog post Grappling with Despair
"Thank you Nick for the human and personal reflection.  Good to read your words and hear your voice through them.  We had just seen Bond too, just 2 days after.  And I reflected on the difference between the two narratives: One of…"
Nov 18, 2015
Nick Mabey posted a blog post

Grappling with Despair

I took the family to see the latest Bond movie, Spectre, on Friday night.  The film divided opinion amongst us (as I believe it has done nationally).  Personally I thoroughly enjoyed it; there was a throwback feel to the Connery/Moore era where the humour was sharp, the sexual politics dubious, the plot ridiculous and the villains unequivocally evil. On the car journey home we discussed our…See More
Nov 18, 2015
Laurence Beckett commented on Nick Mabey's blog post The Cost (and Benefit) of Paying Attention
"Great blog Nick !  I have been reflecting on something similar (but definitely different) recently - but without paying full attention to it !  Instead of 'attention' however I was thinking about emotions - (in a…"
Oct 28, 2015
Nick Mabey posted a blog post

The Cost (and Benefit) of Paying Attention

I often work at home.  And often when I am working at home I like a coffee in the morning.  And often when I like a coffee in the morning I treat myself to a couple of biscuits (especially if I have earlier been for a run).It was on one such morning, with coffee and biscuits procured and on my cluttered desk and several things…See More
Oct 7, 2015
Nick Mabey posted a blog post

Going Round in Circles

How often do you sit round in a circle at work, particularly without a desk or table in front of you?  Has that ever happened?  What did you notice?We often aim for this when we are working with clients; assuming the table isn’t bolted to the floor and entwined with cables (an increasingly common occurrence).   When we manage to set up a room in this way there is often some discomfort to…See More
Sep 14, 2015
Nick Mabey posted a blog post

On Being a Man

I remember getting angry once about twenty-five years ago when I heard there was a ‘women’s network’ at BT.   I am not sure what I was getting so frothed up about.  I’ve always been an advocate for gender equality and I had no personal grudges against the women involved.   It might have been that this was a club I was excluded from, which activated a sense of injustice.  It might also have been an…See More
Jun 9, 2015
Nick Mabey replied to Asher Rickayzen's discussion CIO Roundtable June 2015
"I am delighted to say that Trevor Didcock will be joining us.   Until recently Trevor was CIO at easyJet."
May 19, 2015
Nick Mabey posted a blog post

Moments of Strewth*

My work often means having conversations with people about their careers.  It always fascinates me to discover the paths we all take to end up where we are.  When I started in business, in the 80s, it felt like the paths were well trodden and straightforward.  By starting at point A, it was quite easy to predict that retirement would come at point D, via B and C. As time has gone on I have met…See More
May 9, 2015
Nick Mabey posted a blog post

Dishonouring Honour

Have you ever completed a task at work and then looked back and thought “I know we always do that but actually I am not sure why” or “I don’t see the point of that but its probably just easier to do it than ask why we bother”? It can feel far more comfortable to be controlled by our habitual patterns of behaviour than to break out from them, or even just to be conscious enough to question…See More
Apr 6, 2015

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Job Title
Partner
Organisation
Relume Ltd.

Nick Mabey's Blog

Establishment Foundations

I’ve been facing my fear for about a year now.  Prior to that I had 50 years on the planet not even knowing I head this fear.  How can that be possible?

Well my supervisor said I had ‘complex defensive structures’.   When she said it I was rather pleased because it sounded cool.  But then after going through some seriously painful learning it turns out it is not so cool…

Continue

Posted on February 14, 2017 at 9:00

Disconnection - The Near Enemy Of Non-Attachment?



Grasping, trying, desperate for signs of approval.  Showing off, dominating, making people laugh, anything to feel their validation.  Suffocating at the prospect of rejection, try harder, tell them a story, make them feel better.  Anything to make them love me.

This is often a voice in my head – the voice of my attachment.  In its grip…

Continue

Posted on January 16, 2017 at 10:00

About a Heart from the Heart

This happens too often:

I feel tentative, my stomach clenching as I contemplate it.  My mind is going ten to the dozen with a toxic mixture of ideas of how to get out of it and images of the many ways it can go wrong and I can look bad.  Dread washes over me and, instinctively, without even knowing it, I turn my attention away.  To football, internet surfing,…

Continue

Posted on September 12, 2016 at 7:00 — 1 Comment

Puppets

She already had tears in her eyes as she rose to explain to us what was going to happen next.  The day before we had walked out an hour early as a show of solidarity to fellow workers who had been suspended.  So now we had to sign a form ensuring we would not do that again.  It was Anne’s job to explain this and get us to sign.  We already knew we would not sign and so did she.  We already knew…

Continue

Posted on March 8, 2016 at 7:30

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